Class assignment (group work, done orally):
1. "St.George and the Dragon" Paolo Uccello (1460)
Not
My Best Side
U. A. Fanthorpe (1989)
I
Not my best side, I'm
afraid.
The artist didn't
give me a chance to
Pose properly, and
as you can see,
Poor chap, he had
this obsession with
Triangles, so he left
off two of my
Feet. I didn't comment
at the time
(What, after all,
are two feet
To a monster?) but
afterwards
I was sorry for the
bad publicity.
Why, I said to myself,
should my conqueror
Be so ostentatiously
beardless, and ride
A horse with a deformed
neck and square hoofs?
Why should my victim
be so
Unattractive as to
be inedible,
And why should she
have me literally
On a string? I don't
mind dying
Ritually, since I
always rise again,
But I should have
liked a little more blood
To show they were
taking me seriously.
II
It's hard for a girl
to be sure if
She wants to be rescued.
I mean, I quite
Took to the dragon.
It's nice to be
Liked, if you know
what I mean. He was
So nicely physical,
with his claws
And lovely green skin,
and that sexy tail,
And the way he looked
at me,
He made me feel he
was all ready to
Eat me. And any girl
enjoys that.
So when this boy turned
up, wearing machinery,
On a really dangerous
horse, to be honest
I didn't much fancy
him. I mean,
What was he like underneath
the hardware?
He might have acne,
blackheads or even
Bad breath for all
I could tell, but the dragon--
Well, you could see
all his equipment
At a glance. Still,
what could I do?
The dragon got himself
beaten by the boy,
And a girl's got to
think of her future.
III
I have diplomas in
Dragon
Management and Virgin
Reclamation.
My horse is the latest
model, with
Automatic transmission
and built-in
Obsolescence. My spear
is custom-built,
And my prototype armour
Still on the secret
list. You can't
Do better than me
at the moment.
I'm qualified and
equipped to the
Eyebrow. So why be
difficult?
Don't you want to
be killed and/or rescued
In the most contemporary
way? Don't
You want to carry
out the roles
That sociology and
myth have designed for you?
Don't you realize
that, by being choosy,
You are endangering
job prospects
In the spear- and
horse-building industries?
What, in any case,
does it matter what
You want? You're in
my way.
http://valerie6.myweb.uga.edu/intertextuality.html